Welcome and Thank you for taking time to read what I have to share

~Blessings to all who enter here~

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

On my way

Well, It's Tuesday. I went to the 'exercise clothing section' at my local Walmart store over the weekend and found some comfy pants to jog in.
So, now I am two days into my new program; "BUTT AND GUT BE-GONE"!
So far I have done the required exercise and have only cheated once each day on food intake.
Seriously people, I am taking baby steps here.
I hate to do this, but I am going to share my weight with you right here on my blog so that anyone who reads it can see it..................
You got it. I am not a slim chicken. I mean just a few months ago I weighed 160lbs and thought I was huge.
So, I have made a pact with my dear friend in Dallas, and we have made ourselves a goal and we are supposed to be helping each-other along the way with phone calls, but that isn't happening.
Anyways.... I am determined. So, here we go, the countdown begins! I will keep you posted along the way, but I don't want to make my blog all about loosing weight, so it'll be just a little here and there.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Excuses for not exercising!

I realized something yesterday: I am no longer the "Gladys Cravats" of my neighborhood. You see, I used to walk my dog alot around my apartment complex, but now, since she has been staying out in the country - I am not getting out walking. So... I cannot pick up on who's doing what around here. I guess that is ok, but it was kind of entertaining watching the goings on of the complex. Now if I get out to walk, I notice a bunch of new people living here, dang, I am missing out!

Really though, I should be out walking myself regardless of having a dog.
I truly am wanting to get back into shape (who's not), but I have found soooooooo many excuses for not!

Excuse #1. I am tired
#2. I am lazy
#3. I don't want to
#4. Maybe I'll just slim without exercise
#5. It's cold
#6. It's late
#7. It's dark
#8. I want to watch a movie instead
#9. I just want to relax
And of course my all time favorite:
#10. I have no exercise clothes.
You see, I have come to the realization that there is a 'uniform' for everything. We wear certain clothes to the store, the mall, to garden, to go out on a date, and also to exercise.
In fact, if you see someone out walking a dog in a pair of jeans and sweater - you think........ Hmmm, that person is walking thier dog.
BUT.... if you see a person out walking in jeans and a sweater alone - you think: Hmmm, I wonder if he ran out of gas? Or, "Why is that girl walking all alone". Or, "I wonder if that lady needs a ride".
Ok, so if you see someone running in jeans and a sweater or t-shirt, you might think, "What happened? Did he do something, is he running from the cops?"

You see, there is a uniform for exercise, they have a section for it in all department stores. Yes, cool running pants, shorts, shirts, etc....

If you do not have a budget to purchase these items, you are stuck in the jeans and sweater catagory. (That is if you can still fit in your jeans).

My budget is a tight one for sure, but so are my jeans, so I need to make a serious decision.
Do I go buy running clothes?
But then I'll ask myself: "Do I look fat in these running clothes"? "Will someone think I am a beginner"?
For goodness sake, I simply talk myself right out of the whole idea, and alas, here I am, still out of shape.

I guess it's time to take a serious stroll through the exercise clothing the next time I'm at the store; Ughhh, but then if I get the clothes - I HAVE TO ACTUALLY USE THEM!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My first Rodeo

Well, Last night was yet another first for me.... I went to the San Antonio Stock show and Rodeo.
Yes, I know, this may not sound like much to you but you have to understand, there were so many things I could not (enjoyably) do while married to the person I was married to, that I am now taking the time to do things I have always wanted to do. I always wanted to see a guy do the bucking bronco thing at a rodeo. Well, last night my sweet boyfriend took me and my son to see that and a lot more, including a country concert, another first.

One of the things I liked a lot was the cute little kids doing mutton bustin.
Where the little kids hangs on for dear life while a half shaved sheep goes running through the arena.

I was really impressed by the guys who hang on to the bareback horse and try to stay on for 8 seconds.

I was super impressed by the girls who did the barrels. I mean, they obviously have trained those horses and themselves to control themselves enough to get around those barrels fast and smooth.

It was obvious these kids really took a lot of pride in what they did and in their animals. Kind of made the whole "redneck" thing a little easier to understand. These people are serious about what they do, about their heritage. This is truly something they can be proud of.
Its a neat culture, I'm glad I live around it.

The concert after was Trace Adkins, not a favorite, but still enjoyable music.

The whole thing was real was nice, and my son loved it all. So overall, a wonderful evening.

I actually thought I was not going to be able to go, but then my boyfriend surprises me with tickets and off we went.

Monday, February 15, 2010

You know, I realize more and more every day that "God's ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts our thoughts"....Let me explain......

When I was married, I had a M.I.L. that was more than hard to live with/deal with/understand/bear! But, I had no choice. Her son had no interest whatsoever in showing any compassion, care, understanding, etc... to his own Mother. Because I hated to see this (and also wanted to be sure my own kids would learn the importance of helping out elderly parents so that they would hopefully do it when I got old), I stepped in and did the things an adult child should do for an elderly parent. Checked in on her, had her come over to be around family and grand kids, invited her to dinner so she wouldn't be alone; encouraged her when she had cancer, offered to let her live in my house for a long time, I could go on....... This was, needless to say, exhausting, but if I didn't' do it, there was no one else. I just couldn't let that happen. Now, when I finally got divorced, I thought that maybe I might not have to deal with the M.I.L. anymore. After all, she wasn't my mother, right? Well, was I wrong! Her son moves 500 miles away. So, guess who makes sure the kids go over and give flowers, gifts, goodies, Christmas, etc.... to Grandma? Me! Not just that, today I go over and I give her pictures of her son that were taken with his kids on Christmas. Ughh, what am I doing? WHAT AM I DOING???? I am still serving.
WHY? Because regardless of my marital status, I am still a Servant of the Lord. I am still responsible to do what is right. While I was there I realized that this is a woman that for whatever reason finds pleasure in her feebleness. My guess is she likes to be felt sorry for. I prefer not to show her pity, but to show her sincere care. Today I chatted a bit with her and then washed her feet and filed her toenails.
Please understand this is not an opportunity to boast, but more to say, "Allow yourself to be used to help someone who cannot help themselves".
Yup, thats the way I see it.
I would love to hear your stories about times in your life when God has shown you something through a real life situation.

Time to get moving!

So, today I am thinking....hmmm, about 9 - 10 years ago I was chatting with my friend online when I mentioned my desire to write a book to her. She says to me "You have a computer, what is stopping you"? That was all I needed to hear at that time. I got busy writing, every day I was at it for a good couple of hours. I was so motivated, each chapter made me want to continue the story. About 650 pages into the novel, I stopped. I had come to a dead end. I had no ending. And so, the book went to sleep. It has been sleeping now for nearly 10 years.

Also at that time, I began to jog, I had never been athletic in my life; I had never been a runner thats for sure, but I began to notice along with the jogging that I was slowly loosing some unwanted pounds. I weighed about 160 lbs. Within four months of jogging and changing how I ate I was down to about 140lbs. I signed up for a 5k run (about 3 miles) and within two months I ran it and had also lost another 5lbs. I was looking good, feeling great, novel was being written, life was good.

So, what happened? Well, the 5k goal was gone, my running buddy got mad at me and left me for another friend, summer came and I got busy with the kids, and then fall came and it started to rain, and rain, and rain and rain! So.... I stopped running. I started baking, getting ready for the holidays. Needless to say.... I started to slowly gain the weight back and did not get back to the novel.

Why do I say these things, well... the friend that encouraged the book in the first place, whom I will likely dedicate it to, has since gotten more educated, more degrees, better work, more money, etc...

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not comparing myself. I am simply saying that when a person truly wants to reach a goal or get a task completed, nothing is going to stop them! Nothing!
So, what is stopping me?

1. Fear - fear that I may complete the book and not know how to publish it and feel my efforts were wasted.
2. Lack of motivation - circumstances can often cause us to loose our desire to go forward.
3. Focus - There is no way we can shoot a bullseye if we are focusing on too many targets. I was homeschooling my kids, working part time, busy as a church volunteer and working hard to keep my marriage alive.

So, Here I sit, thinking... Okay, its time to get back to the drawing board.
I still have the same fear about the book.
I still have circumstances.
I still have things to focus on besides these goals.
But.... NEWSFLASH TO SELF!!!!!!!!!!!.............. This is life! I will ALWAYS have to face fears, I will always have to motivate myself, I will always have other things to focus on. So, who the heck and what the heck is stopping me? ME!
Oh Lord, help me to get myself back on track.

I will keep you posted on the progress as I go; Not sure if I want to post my weight, but I'll let you know how things are going as I get back into the fitness scene.

So, that is what I am thinking about today, please feel free to share your thoughts as well.

Monday, February 8, 2010


Good day to all,
I have so much to share........... First of all I watched the Super Bowl game yesterday. Why do I say this like it is something unusual? Because it was the very first Super Bowl game, and probably the very first football game - that I have ever sat through entirely. Seriously! Up until about 2 weeks ago when I was at My Boyfriends house, I was about as interested in football as I was about Bungee Jumping over a snake pit. Really!
However... two weeks ago when I was with B-Friend, the game between the Saints and the one that has that Brett Favre guy... was on. I sat next to boyfriend to watch game because I like him and like sitting next to him. But as each play happened I became more curious; so I started asking questions, and he just answered them so nicely and easily to understand (because this is just the kind of guy he is). So, it was easier to understand the game, and now I like it and can't wait for next season. Actually found myself today wondering who I would start the season off rooting for~! Go figure!

Anyways.... I was online this morning and saw an article called "Men's most annoying habits".
Of course I read it. However, (and yes I am bragging)....I had to admit that so far, I have not seen any of these in my boyfriend. The habits were: 1-5

1.1. Over-zealous light turning-off.

I thought this was something only I had to suffer, but my writer friend Jenna, 40, assures me it is not.

“My husband calls me ‘Light-Leaver-Onner’ and subsequently walks around shutting off lights, including inrooms I am in. I’ll be using the toilet and he’ll walk by, open the door and turn off the light.”

But is this a green thing? A money thing? Who knows, but it seems to me that these guys are all taking An Inconvenient Truth just a little too far…

Case in point: My husband’s favorite line, whenever he discovers I’ve (yet again) left the light on in the basement laundry room, “Mother Earth is crying.”

2.2. Leaving wet towels on the bed.

A gal we’ll call Penny, 36, tells me with a sigh, “I had an ex-fiancĂ© who always, and I mean always left wet towels in the middle of the bed. He'd take a shower, walk into the bedroom, drop the towel in the middle of the bed, get dressed and leave. The wet towel would sit there all day long. Ick.”

Ick indeed. But why? Are beds and towel racks so similarly shaped that guys get confused? And let me just point out that she says ex-fiancé.

OK, some guys at least make an effort to put their things away…but when it comes right down to it, good intentions alone aren’t quite enough.

After reading our article on the annoying things women do, one commenter, “Bandijacks”, shared her pet peeve about guys: “The most annoying thing for me is when they almost put something away, but not quite. Like putting the dirty dishes beside the sink rather than inside, or putting dirty clothes on top of the hamper rather than opening it and putting them inside. Grrr.”

Come on guys, you’re so close. Close, but no cigar!

3. 3. Turning into big babies when they get sick.

Sound the alarms! Call the Red Cross! Baby has a …sniffle!

If you’ve even been called into a living room filled with empty mugs coated with Theraflu and used Kleenex, a mound of misery lying woefully on the couch, and been asked to hand a certain someone the remote so he doesn’t have to strain himself reaching to the coffee table … then you know what I’m talking about.

Claudia, 30, says, “It's like one sniffle must be the plague and no one has ever, ever felt as bad as they do.”

“Of course,” she wisely points out, “the worst part is, you can't really complain about it because you just come across as mean and unsympathetic.”

True. Better to play sympathetic nursemaid/slave for a few days so you can cash your chips in next time you need a late-night Ben & Jerry’s run, if you know what I mean.

4.4. Not giving good phone.

Alissa, 22, has been dating her guy for two years. Her number one complaint? “He’s so bad on the phone! We're talking zero enthusiasm, very quiet, and I'm the one who always needs to keep the conversation going.”

You might think it has something to do with his personality. You might be wrong. “He's completely different in person -- very lively, funny, and talkative,” says Alissa.

What’s a girl to do? “I've asked him many times to improve his phone skills, but nothing seems to work,” she says. “So now, I just talk and talk and talk until I want to hang up, and he just has to sit there and listen!”

Read XBox Game Teaches Guys How to Talk to Girls

5.5. Leaving a trail of ______ around the house.

It’s as if some guys never quite got over the lessons they learned from Hansel and Gretel, right? Wherever they go, they must leave little markers, for fear of not being able to find their ways back to … the kitchen?

Jenna, the “Light-Leaver-Onner,” has this one bad: “My husband likes to eat cheese slices at night, and I’ll find the little wax papers everywhere the next morning – in his pockets, on the coffee table, tucked between the damned couch cushions.”

Well, at least they don’t still have cheese in them.

And Christie, 21, always knows where her boyfriend’s been by his trail of dirty socks. “I find those things everywhere! On the bedroom floor, on the couch, under his kitchen chair, you name it.”

Of course, despite these pesky little habits, we love our guys anyway. All these little things add up to just that – little things.

But it’s kind of fun to b---- a little, amongst friends, isn’t it? Come on, dish it up: What’s your guy’s most annoying habit?

My response to #1. He is not one of those light freaks. In fact, I usually find myself turning lights off at his house.

#2 He is so good about hanging towels up to dry

#3 You never know when he is sick or hurting because he is always looking out for everyone else.

#4 The man loves to talk on the phone. Its great!

#5 He is very tidy. He keeps his dishes washed, keeps the floor swept, folds the clothes, etc..

Well, enough of that.

My son and I are pretty conversant, and on the way to school this morning we were chatting about something someone had said about their Dad. It was not a nice thing. So I said... "Hmmm, sounds like that person disses his Father sort of like you do yours". He says back "yeah, I guess your right". I say back to him, "The Bible says "Honor your Father and Mother and in doing this you will have long and blessed lives". You don't have to like everything your parents do or how they do it, but you might want to honor them, so your life will be long and blessed". He was a little quiet and then looked at me, nodded in agreement and that was that.

Well, guess that's all for today, Ya'll be blessed.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Wow, God still cares.
Due to some very un joyful experiences in 'the church' scene during my many years in it, I have spent the last four years (at least) away from church.
I also have not listened to Christian radio or music because of the bad memories it brought back to me. In other words - for a long time, I have been mad at GOD!
Yup, you heard it, mad at God. I mean after all, couldn't He of all people have made my life just a little bit easier. Why would HE allow me to struggle and watch people I love enjoy doing fun or nice things in life. Well, this anger has caused me to stay arms distance from Him for a long time. Now, since I know that God moves in very peculiar ways, I knew that eventually He would find a way that would work - to talk to me, AND HE DID! After a week of serious emotional up's and down's, I was worn out. Spent! I was achey, angry, bitchy, cranky, etc... But.... on Thursday, I noticed as soon as I woke up something odd was going on. My body did not hurt like it always did, I felt refreshed and hopped right out of bed. I got my son off to school, and headed for work. However, I had some time before I needed to start work so I parked at a convenience store to eat my breakfast and turned on the radio. Usually I listen to country or talk radio. But this morning I thought "Maybe I might find some refreshing words that could help me on the Christian radio". So, I scanned the dials until I fell upon a preacher that I was familiar with and one that I did respect, so I stopped and listened. Now, remember I had had a week of hell, feeling like I was going to be doing what I do forever, never getting ahead. I felt like God was done with me, my life was finished and now I was just exsisting. I felt like an old woman who had already lived her life. I felt as though I had made too many mistakes and now my future was sealed with a stamp that says "useless". Until I heard these words: "Don't be tethered to your past, rather, be tethered to Gods Word". and "We cannot predict HOW God is going to accomplish HIS WORD, only that He WILL accomplish it", and (my favorite).... "Even if you've lost time, you're not to old, If your still here, God is not finished with you".
Well, needless to say, all I could do was look up and say "thank you". I guess maybe there is a possible better future ahead for me. I truly needed a glimmer of hope and I got it.
Gods not done with me yet.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Looking back on dreams had, dreams lost, and the hope of dreams to come.........

Good Morning,
It's Monday, the beginning of a brand new week. I feel like I got a lot of things taken care of this weekend. Went through stacks of paperwork, Cleaned up my bedroom (which looked like a dressing room in a women's boutique after a huge sale), and managed to spend time with people I love. Going through the stacks of paperwork and old photos always gives opportunity for pondering, if for just a moment or two, on the past. As I picked up each folder and piece of paper I came across yet another bit of my own history. I even found the receipt for my and my x husbands original wedding bands that we purchased in 1984. Yikes. Weird. I don't even know what happened to that wedding band. Oh well.
I came across cute pics of my kids, loving cards that had been given to me by my sisters, etc...
Yet, something was different last night. It seemed easier to go through that stuff this time. Not as emotional. (I say this because I am an emotional woman, and strolling through memory lane can get me a bit teary eyed at times - mainly because I deal with regret alot). Anyways.... I found that even though I felt a twinge of sadness as I drifted through those memories, I also felt a new feeling. Not sure if I can even put a word to it. It was like I felt 'older'... like I have moved into a different place in life. The place you move into slowly as your children grow up and move away, the place you move into as you go through big changes in life. I just felt sort of like a more solid person. Like much of what I was looking at was so much of what has made me who I am. Like it or not! I am the woman that married at 19, who raised three kids with a man that was about as experienced in taking care of a family as I am at changing my oil. I am that woman that wrote pages and pages as I journaled my children's lives as they grew up. I am the woman that studies Scripture so deeply I wrote complete Bible studies to share at women's groups. I am the woman that was given love notes by my children so often I could make a scrapbook with the ones I saved over the years. Wow, what a life I have had. No wonder I often feel like an old lady ready for the rocker. AND YET... I am only 44 years old. My goodness. I am not an old woman. I haven't even gone to college completely yet for goodness sake. I have a manuscript with dust all over it that I have yet to finish for fear of the inability to get it published. I have not done many of the things I dreamed of doing for many years. Even though it does seem that some of those dreams have diminished with the changes that have taken place in my life over the last few years. The dream I had of hiking the Grand Canyon - left with the aches and pains that have invited themselves into my body. The dream of living in a neat home out in the country - gone with divorce and extreme financial hardships. The dream of being financially strong in my older years - gone with divorce and bad financial mistakes. So many dreams... gone! In fact, I can't really remember what dreams I really had. I think my biggest dream is to get a good book published before I die. At this point in my life I am not concentrating on dreams. Rather, I concentrate on being here for a teenage son as he goes through high school and prepares for life ahead. I concentrate on making enough to pay bills before they are cut off. I have to hold on to hope that one day..... I will once again have a collection of papers and such to go through that will bring some good memories back. Hope that dreams of things I 'want to do someday' will once again be a part of my life. Dreams that life can be better. This chapter is just not that wonderful.