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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Well, good morning, its Jan. 15th, 2010. its raining cats and dogs outside and I just got in from taking my dog to go to the bathroom. She has to walk the entire complex before she finds just the right spot. Wonderful! I was well covered so no biggie, its not cold, just wet. So.. now I am inside, warm and dry. I'll be leaving for work soon, but I wanted to share a bit before I left.
My thoughts for today: Friendships.
As of last night I have officially had the opportunity to hold 3 teenagers and one adult (my x) as they wept bitterly in my arms as a result of failed, lack of or loss of friendship. Truly, its heartbreaking to say the least. This has led me once again to ponder on the "job" of making and/or maintaining friendships in life. Many of us make friends when we are young and often times grow up with them and they are a part of our lives forever. Some friends we make in young adulthood, some as young mothers, some in the workplace, etc... making friends is not the hard part usually; maintaining the friendship is the hard part. One must stay in touch, make phone calls to check in on their status, send notes, birthday cards, show compassion, care, etc.. Without this, the friendship tends to go into a lull and eventually sort of frizzles out. Yes, I agree they can be rekindled, but in this world of business, parenting, work, etc.. it can be difficult to maintain those relationships. However...for a teen/young person it is very painful when friends walk away because they just don't like you anymore. Thus was the case I was dealing with last night. I held my child as he sobbed about friendships that did not seem true. Mean things said about him at school that truly hurt not just his feelings, but mine as well when I heard them. So, of course in good motherly fashion when trying to think 'is there something I can do'? I find that holding a person in pain is usually the best thing to do, and that is what I did. I held the boy, (who by the way is about a foot taller than me) - as he sobbed on my shoulder. Interestingly enough, I, after having had a rather difficult week myself filled with stress and tears of my own, was totally dry and without tears. It seemed that all my weakness of this past week was suddenly gone and now I was strong for this young man who felt so hurt. I didn't offer a ton of advice, he didn't want that and I knew it. I simply held him, and then he went upstairs, took a bath as I suggested (simply because I know this helps me) and then.... he was back downstairs telling me he was sorry for breaking down on me like that and thanking me for being there and understanding. We played a game of checkers, had some hot cocoa - (which he offered to make) and then it was off to bed. The rain was coming down harder last night, so as I lay there listening to it I thought about the years I have spent with my emotional children, my emotional ex husband and my emotional self. I wondered how the heck I am still sane. But... The wonderful scripture "I can do all things through Christ who is my strength" came to mind and I knew that no matter what in life..... If God is in it....We Will Survive!!!! Instead of falling apart and trying to figure out how I could go grab a teenage boy and beg him to be my sons friend I simply settled with the assurance that in time, he will mature and grow out of some of the things that might cause him to push people away, that he will make friends that last and that he will be just fine! With that, I dozed off in a deep slumber. This experience has made me remember how important friendship is and how important it is to take good care of it. So... today, I will make a couple of phone calls just to say "Hi", and I will be thankful for the position I hold as MOTHER. What a wonderful thing it is.

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